


Tears of Joy

by mollieblack



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Barista Dan Howell, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Phanfiction, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 12:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11185230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollieblack/pseuds/mollieblack
Summary: Soulmate AU where when one soulmate cries, the other's eyes fill with tears.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr at mollieblackwrites if you'd like to see some posts about my thought process while writing/thoughts on what new fics to write, and to message me/participate in discussions and maybe give your input on what you'd like to see next :) <3

Phil Lester has always loved the idea of love. He's always wanted to find that one person that is meant for him, but over the past few years he's become scared. 

You see, Phil's soulmate was sad. Phil knew this, because at least once a day he would feel the familiar tingle behind his eyes, and all of a sudden tears would be rushing down his face. It would happen out of nowhere, and it could last anywhere from a minute to near an hour. Phil was worried about his soulmate, because he didn't know anyone who cried that much.

Sometimes Phil hoped that the tears were happy tears, but deep down he knew they weren't. He knew there was no tangible way he could know for sure, but he just had a feeling. Phil himself only cried every once in a while. Come to think of it, he couldn't really remember the last time he cried... probably months ago. 

Sometimes he would cry when his soulmate cried, the feeling of tears rushing down his face and the helplessness, wishing he could do anything to alleviate this pain from his soulmate overwhelming him, but he knew that since his soulmate was already in tears they probably wouldn't distinguish the difference. Phil wanted nothing more than to find them, to try to help them.

Today Phil had just gotten off work at the bookstore, and headed to a new cafe that had just opened down the street. He walked up to the counter, and ordered the sugariest caramely-est drink they had. The barista nodded quietly, and rang it in, taking Phil's money without looking him in the eye. Phil paid and waited for the caffeine, giving the barista a warm smile as he handed the steaming mug to him. The barista nodded shortly and returned to work.

Phil made his way to a table and pulled out his phone, texting his friend Louise. She was supposed to meet him here, and she responded saying she'd be there in just a few. Phil sat back and looked over the coffee shop, smiling. It was a nice place, and it was located perfectly between his bookstore and apartment, making it ideal for his day-to-day routine. Not only that, but the coffee was cheaper than starbucks, and if this drink was anything to judge it off of, it was good. 

Phil smiled into his cup, sipping slowly as he waited. Louise showed up a few minutes later, scrambling into her seat, out of breath as she greeted Phil, apologizing for being late. She quickly got up and got a drink, then returned.

"The barista is cute." She remarked with a smile, sliding into her seat. 

"Yeah, I suppose. Seems quiet." Phil responded, and Louise shrugged. 

"How was work?" She asked, taking a big sip of her drink and then pulling back, scrunching her face up.

"Too hot?" Phil asked, and Louise nodded, scraping her burnt tongue along her teeth in pain. "Work was good," Phil continued. "there were a few tears, but they lined up almost perfectly with my lunch break... so I guess that's good?" He said despairingly, and Louise gave him a sympathetic look. 

"I'm sorry... they've really been sad lately, haven't they?" Louise asked, frowning.

"Yeah... I don't know. I'm worried about them. I want to find them... maybe I could help." Phil said, and Louise nodded. 

"Yeah, I got lucky with Sam." she said, cautiously taking another sip of her drink. Phil nodded. Louise had met her soulmate, Sam, in high school. Louise had accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk, and felt so bad she began to cry, and Sam had happened to be nearby. They tested it out a few times, watching sad videos to make themselves tear up, until they were sure. They'd been together ever since.

"I guess I had it easier too, though. I cry at almost everything. You never cry, Phil. I don't think I've seen you cry once!" Louise remarked, and Phil nodded, thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I suppose that would help. God, maybe I've met my soulmate and didn't even know. I suppose I should just be snapping myself with rubber bands all day to make myself cry, and see who else tears up." Phil chuckled, and Louise gave him a 'look'. 

"Not what I meant, Lester. But maybe if you allowed yourself to cry a bit more, it could help." 

"I don't know, Lou. I just... I guess I'm just a pretty happy person. I don't feel the need to cry much." Louise nodded, thoughtful.

"What about when you think of your soulmate?" She asked, a plotting glint in her eye.

"What?" Phil asked, confused.

"Your soulmate. How sad they usually are. The fact that you may never meet them. Or the fact that maybe you already did, and you were just too blind to see it." 

"Louise, what are-"

Louise got an intense look in her eye as she continued. "They need you, Phil. They're sad and you're their soulmate, you're supposed to be the one who's there for them, but you're not. No, you're not even _looking_ , you're just going about your life and right now you're just sitting here with me drinking coffee while your soulmate is going through god knows what that makes them so depressed."

"Louise-" Phil started, the hurt clear in his voice.

"Phil, you've abandoned your soulmate. At this rate, who knows if they'll even want to meet you, you've been such a disappointment to them. You've left them all alone, and who knows. Maybe the tears will stop soon. Maybe you'll be dry." Phil's mouth dropped at this. How could Louise say something like that?

To go dry... when people went dry it meant that their mouths felt like paper, their eyes stung but not a drop would come to them, their entire body ached and felt stiff. Going dry was what happened when your soulmate died. Had Louise really just implied that his soulmate may be so sad they would take their own life? No one took their own life, they  _knew_ what taking their own life would condemn their soulmate to. It was a lifetime of pain and torture. 

Phil began to think of how sad his soulmate would have to be to even get to that place, and he felt a tingle behind his eyes. Louise caught sight of this, and continued.

"You've left them alone, they've probably given up by now. Any day now you'll feel that rasp. That desert-dry feeling that no amount of water can fix. You'll dry up, and the only person you'll have to blame is yourself." This was when the first tear dropped. Phil raised a hand to cover his mouth as more tears formed and spilled down his face, as he realized that she was right. He knew what she was doing, he knew that this was all just to get him to cry, but  _she was right._

As much as Phil wanted to help, as much as he wanted to find his soulmate, he didn't actually ever  _do_ anything about it. He just went about normal life and expected them to come to him. How could he be so selfish? The tears were streaming now, and he put down his mug with a shaky hand. 

He barely noticed the barista out of the corner of his eye, as he quickly mumbled a few shocked words to a coworker and rushed into the back.

Phil's tears dried after a few minutes, and Louise took his hand, rubbing her thumb over it. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phil. But you've got to start allowing your emotions to show. If you ever hope to find your soulmate - which I know you do - you can't always be happy. You've got to let yourself be sad sometimes." Phil nodded, brushing away his tears. He quickly glanced around the cafe, a twinge of hope in his stomach, but when he saw everyone dry-eyed, he turned back to Louise.

"I guess... I don't know. I suppose I feel bad about it. My soulmate cries so much already... I don't want to add even more to that." Phil said weakly, and Louise gave him a small smile.

"You know maybe part of the reason your soulmate cries is because they think you're not looking for them. And they're trying desperately to find you." 

"Maybe." Phil agreed unconvincingly. "I think I'm going to head home... but I'll keep what you said in mind, thanks Lou." Louise nodded and gave Phil a smile as she got up and left. Phil got up a moment later, but in his emotionally exhausted state, he didn't see the mug in front of his hands, and as he turned and stood, his arm brushed the mug off the table and onto the floor, crashing and breaking on the tile.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Phil apologized as the barista he had talked to returned from the back, eyes slightly puffy, but dry.

"It's okay." The boy responded, grabbing a rag and a broom and dustpan, returning and beginning to clean it up.

"Can I help?" Phil asked, and the boy shrugged.

"It's fine. Happens all the time." He said, picking up pieces of broken ceramic with the rag, then sweeping the little bits into the dustpan. He followed with a fresh rag, mopping the floor. 

"Here... sorry about all of that." Phil said, shuffling in his wallet, and pulling out five euros to shove in the boy's direction. "For your help." he clarified, as the boy stared at the money.

"It's really fine, it's part of my job."

"No, please. Take it." He said, because the boy looked tired and as if he'd had a hard day, and Phil wanted to thank him and maybe make his day a bit better.

"Okay... thanks." The boy said, taking the bill from Phil's hand and slipping it into his apron.

"My name's Phil." Phil said with a small smile, and the boy raised his eyebrows and then nodded.

Phil almost thought that he wasn't going to respond, before he quietly said, "Dan.", bending back down to continue mopping up the spilled drink.

"Well thank you, Dan. I'll see you around?" 

"Yeah, sure." Dan responded, not looking up from the coffee on the floor. 

Phil smiled as he walked out of the shop, happy that he'd found a new place to supply him with caffeine near his home, and intrigued about Louise's idea of how to find his soulmate.

That night Phil felt the familiar prick of tears from his soulmate, but in the end only two dropped, and it was over almost as soon as it started. Phil smiled, because the long cries were exhausting, and he was glad that his soulmate didn't have to go through that ordeal today. 

Phil went to sleep determined that from now on he was going to spend more time truly searching for his soulmate, and not just waiting for them to find him.

 

* * *

 

 

 

The next day Phil had an afternoon shift at the bookstore. He went to the cafe first, and saw that the barista, Dan, was working again.

"Hey Dan!" He said with a smile as he approached the counter. 

"Hey... how do you - oh right! You're the one who broke the mug." Dan said, remembering who Phil was.

"Yes... the best way to be remembered. Phil." Phil laughed, not minding that Dan had forgotten his name.

"Right. What can I get you?" 

"Uhhh I don't know. You choose! Something sweet." Phil responded with a grin, and Dan nodded. 

"That'll be three euros." He said, and Phil handed over the money. He waited, and when Dan handed him a drink, he sniffed.

"What is it?" 

"It's not on the menu. It's my own recipe, it's what I always make myself. It basically has every kind of syrup and tons of cream, so it's like sugar and cream with a side of espresso." Dan gave a small half smile, and Phil grinned ear to ear.

"Sounds like my kind of drink!" He took a sip, and immediately felt energy rush through him from the sheer sweetness of the drink. He smiled and put five euros in the tip jar.

"You really don't have to..." Dan started, but Phil shook his head.

"It's good, and you gave me your own recipe! I intend on ordering this again, so see it as a thank you for introducing me to this marvelous drink!" Phil said, and Dan shook his head a bit, still just the shadow of a smile on his face as he shrugged.

"Whatever suits you." He responded. 

"So what made you want to be a barista, Dan?" Phil asked, leaning on the counter. He liked to talk to people and no one else was in line, so he supposed he could bother this barista for a bit until someone else came in or he was told to leave. Anyways, Louise had been right the day before. Dan was cute.

Dan chuckled a bit at the question. "I don't know, it's not like it's my life goal. I just dropped out of uni and didn't really know what to do. I needed a way to make money, so I applied here when I heard they were opening and needed workers."

"Well you make a mean cup of coffee you're a natural!" Phil said, impressed that Dan was so new, since the cafe had only opened a few weeks earlier. Dan shrugged. "So what  _is_ you life goal?" Phil continued.

"What?"

"You said working here isn't your life goal. So what is it?" Phil reminded him, and Dan shrugged again. 

"I don't know." Dan responded, playing with some stir sticks as he spoke. "I guess I just want to be happy. Find my soulmate, settle down. I guess what everyone wants." Dan said dismissively.

"Me too." Phil agreed. "I want to find my soulmate and get a cute little house and maybe a dog and lots and lots of plants!" He grinned, and Dan raised an eyebrow, a small smile reflected on his face.

"You like plants?" Dan asked, and Phil's expression got serious.

"Yes! I  _love_ plants! I have them everywhere! Do you like plants?"

Dan shrugged again, he seemed to do that a lot, "Yeah, I guess. I don't have many, though. I had a bonsai tree for a while, my therapist said it'd be good to keep one and to trim it whenever I got stressed. It lasted three whole days before all the leaves had been cut off." Phil gave a sympathetic laugh to mimic the one Dan let out. 

Just then another customer walked in, and Phil nodded a goodbye to Dan as he made his way to a table, allowing Dan to help the customer. He sipped his coffee slowly, and by the time he was done it was almost time for work. He placed his mug in the bussing tub, and began heading for the door.

"Hey, Phil!" Dan called out from behind the counter, and Phil turned in surprise.

"I'll see you around?" The boy said almost shyly, and Phil smiled.

"Yeah... yeah I'll see you soon." He responded, then pushed his way out the door, little bells dinging on the handle as he left.

Phil's shift at work was slow and long and he was exhausted, but it was only a little before seven and he knew if he went home and slept he'd wake up far too early and mess up his whole sleep schedule. He decided on a whim to see if the cafe was open, and walked in just as he saw Dan emerge from behind the counter with a 'CLOSED' sign, clearly about to go switch out the one in the window.

"Oh... uh sorry, if you're closed I can leave, I was just-" Phil started, but Dan interrupted him.

"No, stay. I was gonna make myself a drink and sit around here for a while anyways, you can keep me company." Dan smiled, and Phil nodded. 

Dan switched the signs and then made up two mugs of steaming coffee, returning to the table Phil had sat at. 

"On the house." Dan said with a grin as he sat across from Phil. 

"Thank you. I just had a long shift at work and decided if I didn't get any caffeine in me I'd probably die the minute I got home, and it's only seven... I'm not eighty years old yet." Phil chuckled, and Dan smiled. Phil noticed that Dan had dimples that formed while he smiled, and he would look down, shoulders shaking in a silent laugh. Phil thought it was cute.

"No, just sixty, right?" Dan asked, and Phil rolled his eyes.

"Har har." He mocked, and Dan giggled. 

"So where do you work?" Dan asked, and Phil's eyes lit up. He loved his job. He was an english major, he'd always loved books, and working in a bookstore was like a dream come true. 

"I work at the bookstore just a few blocks down. The little greenish blue building." Phil said, and Dan nodded.

"I think I know the one you're talking about. Right next to the post office... the paint on the outside is kind of the color of your eyes?" Dan clarified, and Phil blushed.

"Yeah... yeah I guess it is." He smiled, and now he saw Dan blush. 

"I like books, maybe I'll come in sometime. Though I'm usually working." Dan added, and Phil laughed understandingly. 

"Yeah, well if you ever do come by, maybe I'll give you an employee discount. Don't tell!" Phil whispered at the end dramatically, because obviously there was no one nearby to hear. 

Dan laughed. "Alright, sure I'll trade you free coffee after your shifts for discounted books. It's a deal." Dan winked, and Phil laughed. "Oh god, sorry. I don't know why I do that. It just happens before I think, and-"

"It's alright." Phil assured him, and Dan relaxed his shoulders, smiling.

They talked for about twenty more minutes, and then they'd finished their coffee and they'd reached a natural break in conversation.

"Well... I'll see you tomorrow?" Phil asked, standing.

"Yeah, that sounds great." Dan responded with a grin on his face. Phil beamed because it had taken Dan a while to fully show Phil his smile, but he did so freely now, and Phil liked how it lit up Dan's face.

"See you." Phil said, and he left the shop, heading back to his house with a bounce in his step.

As Phil was falling asleep, he realized that his soulmate hadn't shed a single tear that day.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I had the ENTIRE thing written out and was super happy with it, then in editing accidentally hit 'back' on the page, and the whole thing got deleted :'( :'( :'( *cries* I literally spent like four-six hours on that chapter :'( 
> 
> I hope it's good still, I think I remembered most of what I'd written, but it's definitely a bit shorter and afkdlsfiosdaf I can't believe I did that :'(

Phil woke up with tears in his eyes. He sighed, wiping them from his face and making his way to the bathroom to assess the damage. His eyebrows raised when he saw the intense tear tracks running down his cheeks, and he knew that his soulmate must have been crying for a long time.

Phil washed his face with soap and water, and then returned to his bed, pulling a tissue box from his night stand. He continued to tend to his face as he read a book he was in the middle of, and after about an hour the tears stopped. Phil couldn't imagine how someone could cry for that long.

 _It was a strange feeling when your soulmate cried_ , Phil thought. Because when you cry, your nose tingles and begins to run, your throat tightens to the point where you feel it may close, you feel it in your whole head, but when your soulmate cries, the tears just form and fall. He supposed that it was a good thing, though, as it helped to distinguish when it was truly you who was crying, or when it was your soulmate.

Once his face was dry, Phil sighed. He felt so useless. He wanted to find his soulmate, and he reflected to Louise's advice. She was right. He was never going to find his soulmate just sat alone in his house, he had to actually go out and try to find them. 

Phil changed into work clothes, knowing he wouldn't return to his flat before his shift, and stepped outside. Once the brisk morning air hit his face, he realized he didn't have any idea where he was going. He couldn't exactly just wander around, and there weren't many places you could just sit. He ended up walking until his feet led him to the cafe, and he decided this would be as good a place as any to just... wait. 

He went inside and ordered a Caramel Latte, a bit disappointed when he saw that Dan wasn't working. He wasn't going to bring it up, but when he remembered that Dan had said he was practically always working there, Phil decided to ask. 

"Is Dan not coming in today?" he asked the girl who handed him his drink, and she shook her head.

"No, I'm actually covering for him. He called in, said he needed to take a 'mental health day'." Phil nodded and headed back to 'his table'. 

He sipped the coffee, and was a bit disappointed that it wasn't quite sweet enough, but he shrugged it off. He could deal. 

After a while, Phil's eyes began to tingle and tears began to fall, and he knew his soulmate was crying again. He immediately looked around the cafe to see if anyone else's eyes were wet, but no such luck. Phil got a few sympathetic smiles from people, which he returned. Everyone understood when people began crying out of nowhere, because everyone had had it happen to them.

Still, though, Phil felt guilty whenever this happened. He felt like he should be going to his soulmate, helping them, but he couldn't, so he just sat there.

The tears lasted an hour and a half, and every single time someone new walked into the cafe Phil would check, but person after person passed, and all of their eyes were dry. Phil sighed, not expecting any less. He was beginning to think that he'd never find his soulmate.

Once the crying stopped, Phil checked the time and saw that he had thirty minutes until his shift. He shrugged and got up, walking to the bookstore. 

He ended up being twenty minutes early, but Phil loved the smell of books, so he wandered the isles, picking up any that caught his eye. Phil wrote down a few of their titles on his phone, because he always liked to keep a list of what to read next so he never felt lost at the end of a book, not knowing where to go from there. Once it was time for his shift, he made his way behind the counter.

The shift passed slowly, and not many people were coming in. By a few hours in the shop was entirely empty, and Phil picked up one of the books he'd been looking at, starting it for lack of anything better to do.

He got pulled in immediately, and he wasn't sure how much time passed before he heard the bells dinging to indicate someone new entering the shop, and he looked up from his book.

"Dan!" He said, surprised as he watched the barista hesitantly enter the shop.

"Hey... I wasn't sure if you'd be here." The man said, shuffling his feet.

"Yeah, I actually came by the coffee shop earlier, but you weren't there." Phil decided not to bring up that he knew why Dan was gone, deciding that if Dan wanted to tell him, he could.

"Yeah... I had a kinda rough morning. How are you?" Dan asked, and Phil shrugged.

"Incredibly busy." He said sarcastically, gesturing to the empty bookshop, and Dan breathed out sharply through his nose in a bit of a laugh, but his face didn't reflect it. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want, but why was this morning rough?" Phil asked, concerned, and hoping he wasn't crossing any boundaries by asking this. He felt relief rush through him as Dan didn't seem to be offended, simply shrugging.

"I don't know... my landlord wants to sell the apartment I'm in, so he told me I have one month to find somewhere new, and there aren't many places that fit within my price range, so I guess it's just been kinda stressful." Phil nodded sympathetically.

"Well, if you need somewhere to crash for a while, my door is always open." He smiled at Dan, and his smile grew when Dan's own lips twitched up, and it was the first time he hadn't been frowning since he entered the bookstore.

"Thanks... are you sure?" Dan asked nervously, and Phil nodded.

"Of course! My flat always feels a bit empty, it'd be nice to have someone else there." Dan's tiny smile grew into a grin, and Phil beamed in response. 

"Okay... when do you get off work?" Dan asked, and Phil looked to check the time.

"Thirty minutes, why?"

"Would you mind if I hang out here, and then maybe... would you want to... I don't know, like hang out for a while after work?" Dan asked nervously, and Phil laughed.

"Yeah, that sounds great! I'd love the company here, and then maybe we can order a pizza and play video games or watch a movie or something?"

"That'd be perfect." Dan responded, and Phil smiled.

The next half hour Phil was able to make Dan smile and laugh, and he was glad that all the tension and stress from the barista seemed to be gone. Conversation flowed smoothly in the shop, and it continued to pass easily on the walk back to Phil's flat. 

Phil was so entranced by the conversation, in fact, that he didn't even mind when it started pouring. He even giggled, pointing out where Dan's hair curled in the rain. Dan blushed and swatted Phil's fingers away from the curls, saying they were ugly, but Phil thought they were cute and he said so, only intensifying Dan's blush. 

He did notice how soaked they were, however, when they entered his flat. The transition from being in the rain to being somewhere dry made him realize how drenched their shirts were, and he took off his shoes and made his way into his bedroom.

"You want a dry shirt?" He called out as he yanked his soaked one over his head and then pulled a fresh and dry tshirt on.

"Yeah, thanks!" Dan called back, and Phil returned with a purple tee for Dan. Dan turned his back as he pulled off his wet shirt, and Phil looked away graciously, making his way to the lounge, and ordering takeout from a nearby Dominos. 

When Dan plopped down next to Phil on the couch, he looked over and grinned. The shirt looked good on Dan, and it broke out of the barista's usual color scheme of black, white, and the shades between.

"Purple suits you. You should wear it more often." Phil said, and Dan blushed.

"Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm gonna stick with my monochrome aesthetic, but I appreciate the dryness more than I hate the color." Phil rolled his eyes, and Dan giggled. 

Their pizza came, and they spent the night mowing through pizza and playing different lego games on Phil's ps3. 

After the 20th time Dan hacked Phil into pieces with his lightsaber in Lego Star Wars, Phil sighed and got up. He went to the kitchen and returned with a bottle of wine, plopping back down.

"I'm going to need some of this if I'm gonna keep playing with you. You _do_ know that this is a cooperative game, and we're supposed to be on a team, right?" He laughed, and Dan giggled. 

"Well what's the fun in that?" Dan asked, and Phil rolled his eyes.

They drank, ate, and played, and neither of them noticed the time passing until it was 2am. Phil yawned and stood up, and the room spun for a second. It wasn't because of the alcohol, neither of them had drank much, it was just from being sucked into another world for so long and finally returning to this one that threw Phil off for a few seconds. It was a similar feel to that which you get when you walk out of a movie theatre and it's light out... like something's just not quite right.

Phil checked the time once his vision calmed down, and his eyes widened. "Dan, it's two in the morning!" He exclaimed, and Dan laughed.

"Oh shit, um... could I..."

"I'll make up the couch for you." Phil responded, not even waiting for Dan to finish his question.

"You sure?"

"Of course, you dork! I'm not letting you walk home, and there's no way I'm going to make you take the bus or tube at this time!"

"Thanks." Dan smiled, and Phil grinned. 

Phil made up the couch into a bed, and when Dan spoke Phil's was surprised at the seriousness and sincerity in his tone.

"Thank you." Dan whispered.

"For what?"

"For turning my day around. It was really shitty before I came to see you, so just... thank you." Phil smiled and he felt warmth rush through him. On a whim he stepped forward and pulled Dan into a deep hug. It took Dan a few moments to react, but slowly, hesitantly, he wrapped his own arms around Phil. 

"Thank  _you_ for coming into my shop." Phil whispered, and he felt tears prick his eyes. "Oh shit, I'm sorry soulmate, whoever you are!" he laughed and called out after a moment, wiping his nose and grabbing a tissue box to blow it.

"Me too." Dan giggled, reaching out for a tissue for his own nose.

"We're messes." Phil chuckled, and they both dried their tears.

"Alright... you're gonna be alright in here?" Phil asked, and Dan nodded, wiping the last tear from his eyes, and crawling onto the couch.

"Okay... goodnight" Phil said, flicking off the light and returning to his own room.

Phil didn't get any more tears from his soulmate that night.

 

* * *

 

 

A month passed in a blur, and not a day went by where Phil didn't see Dan. They developed a routine. Phil would go to the coffee shop before his work, then return after for free coffee with Dan after they closed, sipping sickeningly sweet caffeine at what Phil could officially now call 'their table', and then they'd both make their way back to Phil's flat to play video games and hang out until late at night.

It wasn't even a question when the end of the month came, and they began to move Dan's things into Phil's flat. By the end of the month Dan had been spending most nights there anyway, since neither of them wanted to be alone so they'd just stay up far too late for Dan to take the tube back, and then Dan would crash on Phil's couch. 

"Alright, I think that's the last one!" Phil announced, placing the last box down on the floor of the lounge. "Now what do you say we unpack like... three boxes and then give up, order pizza, and watch a super sappy movie?" Dan grinned and nodded, and they opened up a box.

They only ended up unpacking one and a half boxes before giving up and calling the pizza place, and soon they were settling in with warm food and opening up 'The Fault in Our Stars'. Both men were in the mood for something sappy, and who's better to turn to for that than John Green?

It was about at the time when Augustus told Hazel about his cancer while they were in Amsterdam that Phil lost it, a choked sob escaping his throat. Dan seemed to be in a similar situation, sniffling and wiping his eyes.

Both men sobbed throughout the rest of the movie, and afterwards they leaned back against the couch, laughing as they wiped their tears away. 

"Fuck, my soulmate is gonna hate me if I ever meet them." Dan laughed, his voice thick.

"Why?" Phil asked, wiping his tears away.

"I'm such a crybaby! I cry  _all the time_. Though... I guess in the past month or so I haven't actually as much." Phil smiled, and Dan's expression suddenly turned thoughtful and serious. Phil raised his eyebrows, anticipating a question.

"Are you sure this is okay? This is your flat... I don't want to intrude. I promise I won't be here long, just a bit so I have some time to find somewhere new, and..."

"Of course it's okay, you idiot." Phil said lovingly. "This place feels lonely anyway, it's nice having you around. Really, don't worry too much about looking for somewhere new, I like having you here."

"Okay. If you're sure." Dan said hesitantly.

"I'm sure." Phil confirmed, and got up to put away the pizza boxes. When he returned, Dan was standing, and Phil walked up to him, pulling him into a hug, which now Dan didn't hesitate to return.

"You know you're my best friend, right?" he whispered into Dan's shoulder, smiling. There was a few moments pause before Dan responded.

"You too." Phil felt the familiar tingling behind his eyes, and sighed. He wished he could find his soulmate and help them, he hated that they cried so often.

"Fuck, I'm such a crybaby. I bet when I meet my soulmate they'll hit me." Dan laughed, his voice thick as he pulled away from Phil. "And hey, you're no better than me!" He laughed, indicating the tears on Phil's cheeks.

"Oh these aren't mine." Phil responded offhandedly, and raised one eyebrow when Dan's jaw dropped. His second eyebrow quickly followed the first as he caught on to Dan's train of thought. 

"Tissues." Dan instructed, suddenly very serious, and Phil quickly grabbed a box, returning, and they both cleared their eyes and faces.

Phil felt one tear slowly fall out of his right eye as he watched an identical tear drip out of Dan's right eye and into his open mouth, jaw slack with shock. 

"Phil..." Dan started, but he was interrupted when Phil tackled him down onto the couch, hugging him. Phil felt his own tears come to his eyes, and now they were both sobbing and laughing and looking at each other, eyes wide in amazement. Phil's arms were wrapped around Dan's torso, and Dan's hands came up to cup Phil's face and neck, and their eyes were wide and wet, and Phil's mind was racing.

"Is this... are you really..." Phil stammered, and Dan giggled.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think so." He said, and Phil leaned down, connecting their lips.

It was an awkward kiss, lips pulled tight and teeth clashing as they giggled, and Phil pulled back after a bit, reaching up a thumb to gently swipe a tear off of Dan's cheek.

He gazed down into the glossy, wet eyes of the man below him, and felt tears of joy fill his own. 

He'd found him. The man he'd spend the rest of his life with.

He'd found his soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for a second imagine their smells. Bookstore and coffee <3 <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> Over 10,000 cumulative hits on all my works? You guys are amazing!!! <3 Thank you so much to each and every one of you :)


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